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Always Something

by summerbruise

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1.
Fricked 03:12
how do you choose to be alone when the devil that you know still keeps you warm it’s a moving sidewalk so doing nothing wrong is not enough anymore you’re heading down that path unless you do the math and you go twice as fast the other way but if you just sit still you’re stuck you’re bound to go that way well sitting still’s kinda been my thing these days natalie depends on me for structure and consistency but she’s the one reminding me to eat and sleep if i can’t even take care of myself then i’m not sure what the hell i ever thought that i could teach that leaves me caught between reluctantly trying to be a role model while praying she grows up to be anyone but me it’s not too late for her but it’s too late for me to be anyone but me i only get this way after a rough day or if i’m drunk but all my days are rough and i’m always druuuuuunk when every last distraction or medicated lack thereof can only come up short won’t be enough to clear up all the traffic in my head or the static in my blood it’s not just bad moods or bad habits it’s the fact that i am stuck counting bus stops obsessing over jayne from that sharpless show i think i put my name wrong in her phone spend the ride back to crown heights thinking of what it would be like if everybody had a head like mine what a fucking joke
2.
it seems like i’ve forgot a lot like how to help the ones i love and how to tell the difference between medicine and drugs while it feels like i’m just biding time until some god above gets his grimy hands around the throat of someone else i love if i were you i’d hate me too so i guess we’re pretty lucky ii’m not you ‘cause i hate you too the last thing i wanna see is movies of my dreams cause they’re usually dumb and someone always leaves lately feeling better just feels weird i almost miss feeling bad i like making people laugh but i hate being late to everything and always being mad seeing double every morning and by night i’m seeing red if i were you i’d hate me too so i guess i’m pretty lucky ii’m not you ‘cause i hate you too the last thing i wanna see is movies of my dreams they’re usually dumb and someone always leaves
3.
tell myself today is almost over tell myself tomorrow will be better if the methods never change the results just stay the same but i still tell myself tomorrow will be better spend a friday afternoon in bed so i can go out, spend a friday night stuck inside my head a backpack full of forties a ford fiesta full of friends but i’d rather just go home and back to bed you don’t have to go home baby you just can’t stay here i like you too much to let you wait on me this year maybe next year will be better i can tell you what you wanna hear tell myself today is almost over while i tell myself tomorrow will be better but the methods never change so the results just stay the same i still tell myself tomorrow will be better
4.
you were in til you were out i was here til i was gone you insisted i was different til the day i proved you wrong and now it seems like these days i only like the way i look in pictures with strangers ‘cause they’re the only ones who know the new me, not the old me and god knows that’s the only way anyway finds me funny these days these dark, dark days “i know she hurt you bad, i know what you’re going through you wish that things were different? well i sure as hell do to hey man, what gives you the right to go and try to fix yourself on someone else’s time? you wasted mine fuck you you wasted mine” well i’d rather be drunk the back of a cab that you called me to come meet you at some party where i’ll surely hate everyone but you but i’ll find some wall to talk to and wait for you to be able to take me to your apartment cause no one ever felt like home like someone i could never call home
5.
Never Lucky 02:43
dad left me a pretty short to do list but like most things it proved to be too much so i haven’t paid the bills but i’ve got excuses for why i’ll be a little late this month i've needed you more than ever lately mostly cause i don't know how to use half the shit you left me you’ll never get to hear this song or any for that matter i miss that stupid face you made we should have started that ska band before it was too late but when your minds made up like that you know mine doesn’t matter no matter how much i wish you were here outside killing cowboys with kate while our friends do the same thing they do every day the same thing i do every fucking day when the going gets rough the cowards get drunk point fingers in their sleep it’s so much easier than waking up when the going gets rough the cowards get drunk point fingers in their sleep you got to leave but we still have to wake up
6.
learning to be happy where you're at doesn't really change the fact that where you're at isn't where you should be 'cause where i'm at is the cul de sac my dad lived as a kid katie's moving mountains and i haven't moved an inch from the place i keep my stuff can't earn my keep just keep on saying thanks for the roof i'm doing nothing to keep up it's gonna take some time to realign but if i'd look inside i'm sure i'd find wherever i wanna end up when the shows are all over and i'm back in charge of my life i think it'd be nice if you were here and things were different or if you were here and they stayed the same put your hands over my ears i swear i can hear the ocean i finally found something good in the very last place i looked and if it's all right with you then i think i'll hang here tooooOOooOo i finally found something good in the last place i looked and it'd be all right with me if it's the last place that i'll ever be cause all things considered things aren't all that bad

credits

released June 13, 2019

recorded & mixed by cameron breen
mastered by ethan farmer
all songs written and recorded by mike (from summerbruise) and all his friends, mostly stan and sebastian

special thanks to literally every single person reading this. thank you, seriously.

also additional ass thanks to kate, everyone at the hoosier dome, plans, and alex freaking sanchez

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summerbruise Indianapolis, Indiana

summerbruise is a band from indianapolis.

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